Liftoff

Yesterday I launched the beta version of my signature program. It’s been a long time in the making, and it was a major milestone. The word “launch” comes up a lot in the realm of online business, and I’ve come to appreciate all it implies. It usually refers to the release of a product to an audience. And the world of social media marketing is full of tales of angst and woe about launch fears and failures.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in building my online business to date, it’s that you’re always launching. In the world of online business and social media marketing, you’re always releasing something new, even if it’s as simple as a Facebook or blog post.

When I hear the word “launch” I envision a rocket shot into outer space. A small vehicle hurtling through the darkness into the starry heavens toward places unknown. I feel kind of like that whenever I launch something into the internet. Whether...

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Artificial Urgency

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. My task list is full, there aren’t enough hours in the day, and my responsibilities loom large. It leads predictably to stress and exhaustion. Given the work we do, it’s no surprise that burnout and self-care are mainstays in discussions (online and off-) about the work of helping professionals.

At times it feels insurmountable.

But at other times, if I allow myself, I can see my contribution to the wear and tear. I contribute by insisting on an urgency that really isn’t there. Not really. I’ve just convinced myself that it’s so. I think we often do, out of habit, out of self-importance, out of a sense of crisis that just might be more in our heads than anything.

I recently posted this in an online discussion group: Sometimes I need to remind myself that I don't really HAVE TO do anything. That's self-care too. I was surprised by how many “likes” the post generated. I was glad the message resonated.

It’s...

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Thingification

I had a few conversations with colleagues this week who (coincidentally) wanted to make a change in their professional practice by doing more work in advocacy and social justice. They clearly felt this was the direction they wanted to pursue, but they weren’t quite sure how to proceed.

This is the way a creative impulse feels. It often begins as a yearning - the feeling of longing coupled with a general sense of direction, but without the clarity.

Yet.

I have a suggestion:  gain clarity by taking the ideas that accompany those feelings and “thingify” them. How? Give them form. You can begin with something as simple and straightforward as a list. But I suggest you go a little further and create an array of Post-Its. Or you can go even further (if you’re inclined toward playful risk-taking) and sculpt your ideas free-form with clay to see what comes out the other end.

(I suspect most of you feel comfortable with the first 2 suggestions, but a little...

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Putting Yourself Out There

Whenever you create something, you risk the vulnerability of exposure. What will they think? Do I look foolish? Who will they think I am? Who do I think I am? A flurry of self-doubt and anxiety arise with the prospect of sharing your creation.

This can be enough to stop us in our tracks. Better to remain safe than sorry.

I’m feeling this way right now. In building my new online business, The More Creative Therapist, I just created a free online mini-course to share with whoever might be interested. It's called More Creative in 5 Days (how's that for audacious?). I’m announcing sign-ups this week, and you know what? I feel scared! You know all those self-doubt questions I mentioned above? They’re running through my head right now!

Something about self-exposure makes you (among many things) a magnet for the strong feelings of others. We can never fully anticipate what our own creations will bring up. I got some negative feedback a while ago about a free offering on...

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Permission to Create

I’d always been a maker as a kid, and I loved teaching myself by reading books and magazines. By the time I was a teen, I was designing and sewing many of my own clothes, and crafting stylish macrame bags and vests. I was confident in the stylish space I created for myself. But all that changed as I grew older, left home, went to college, and entered the world of young adulthood far from the life I’d known.

Making became a big deal, filled with anxiety. While I can now appreciate the earnestness of my artistic and literary aspirations, it came at a cost. Creative paralysis became common the more serious my hopes and dreams. College was a whole new world, one for which I was unprepared, filled with smart aspiring peers. I felt small, and I grew increasingly ashamed of my creative efforts. They seemed clumsy and awkward, as if I was trying to speak a language I barely understood. It was tough.

The thing that helped was being taken seriously by someone else. I had a...

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The Creative Season

It’s funny how much the weather affect our moods and expectations. Saturday was sunny, Sunday overcast, and today snow! A few days ago I heard the sounds of spring clearly outside as birds returned to the neighborhood. And I noticed the usual array of spring flowers peering out of the ground and bursting into bloom.

It’s easy to think of spring as an especially creative season, since so much is perking up after a long winter and fall. The images of spring (eggs hatching, blossoming flowers) signal birth, new beginnings.

Are you hatching something new this season? A new focus for your private practice? A new approach with your clients? Maybe you’ve weathered the winter and come out the other side, realizing you need to reduce your daily wear and tear. Maybe ease is in order this season.

Let yourself daydream and see what drifts into your thoughts and feelings. Let yourself be led by what appears - by what draws you forth. Put one foot in front of the other and...

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Putting Yourself Out There

I did my first Facebook live yesterday. Wow! It was as terrifying as everyone says. Especially for someone like me, not especially interested in mediated exposure, an introvert at heart. Still, when you’re growing a brand new business and an online community, the willingness to make yourself known through writing and images in the form of posts - whether on a blog like this or social media platforms - is a must.

It was an extemporaneous ramble in the form of a Facebook group “open house” that turned out to be just me, my iPhone camera, and a few visitors. Fortunately, my new business offering is on creativity, and the subject of fear naturally came up. Isn’t that one of the biggest creative hurdles? I was able to share my own anxieties openly. I was in feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway mode. It was so helpful to just admit it. And keep going. On camera no less. Live.

Creativity opens us to vulnerability. Putting ourselves out there is tough. It’s hard to...

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Balancing Effort & Ease

Every attempt at behavioral change demands doing things differently. In my work with clients in recovery from drug and alcohol use, great effort is made at “staying clean.” This typically involves avoiding people, places, and things associated with substance use, developing “trigger management skills,” and making lifestyle changes. It’s hard work. And when it becomes too hard, relapse happens. Or if not full-blown relapse, a “slip,” before the client resumes their recovery efforts.

Whenever this happens in any behavioral change effort, especially when abstinence of any kind is the desired goal (think dieting), fatigue arises. The effort becomes tiring, too much work. The client eventually gives in, seeking relief from an effort that’s become overwhelming.

Too much concerted effort just doesn’t work in the long run. It is too much work. It is tiring. It is a drag. It does feel like punishment. It feels depriving because it is.

...

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Relating through Props & Play

From time to time, I use props in my therapy sessions. They’re great for introducing a sense of play, and for mediating the interaction between me and my client(s). I’ve used the Hoberman Sphere pictured above to demonstrate cognitive concepts to my group therapy clients, opening and closing the sphere to demonstrate flexibility and constriction. Each time, my clients are absolutely alert and attentive. After the demonstration, we pass the sphere around, with each member flexing it to demonstrate their current state.

The barriers that arise during talk therapy can often be overcome by using props, since they support kinesthetic engagement. (Of course, some clients are as resistant to props as they are to speaking.) Sometimes I use a shawl (any length of cloth or rope or even a flexible band would do), holding one end while my client holds the other. We pull, sometimes gently, sometimes firmly, each trying to match the give and take of the other. It’s a dance, but a...

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Choosing a Career, or Dreaming One?

I lived many professional lives before becoming a therapist. While I was always grateful for those opportunities, I never felt quite “in my element” within those professional communities. Whether design, tech, or academe, I felt like an outsider. So it’s been a blessing to find myself feeling right at home as a therapist.

Oddly, it was never something I considered outright. I wasn’t one of those I’ve-always-wanted-to-help-people kind of people. I was always too engrossed in my own struggles to have much leftover for others. At least that’s what I thought.

So imagine my surprise when one day, a little over 10 years ago, the thought of becoming a therapist crossed my mind. No one could have been more surprised than me. It arose out of nowhere, startling, like a dream. But instead of rejecting it outright as a preposterous idea, I let the dreaminess of it live in me.

Sometimes I took conscious steps to explore the possibility:  I looked...

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